More Wisdom or Laughter

Continuing with my Friday’s list of quotes to bring wisdom or laughter (this one I confess will be more laughter than wisdom), here is a list of things you will NEVER hear in church.

  1. Hey! It’s MY turn to sit on the front pew!      
  2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.      
  3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.      
  4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.      
  5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.      
  6. Forget the denominational minimum salary: let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.      
  7. I love it when we sing songs I’ve never heard before!      
  8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the worship service early!      
  9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.      
  10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign.

If you like the laughter, check out my other lists.

A List for Wisdom and Laughter – In Honor of Mothers

I have shared some of the one sentence (or two) quotes that I have found either good for a laugh – or serious reflection.

So – in honor of our mothers, let me share some quotes that I hope will make you laugh – but also appreciate your mother.

Things mother would NEVER say:

  1. “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
  2. “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
  3. “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery”
  4. “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week”
  5. “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”
  6. “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
  7. “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
  8. “I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve”
  9. “Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve.
  10. You don’t want to eat your vegetables – just grab a hand of M&M’s.

One Sentence for Wisdom or Laughter

Some wise – and perhaps some funny – sayings I found in my devotion book. Hope you enjoy them.

  • Lighthouses don’t fire off cannons to draw attention to their light – they just shine
  • If your service for God is worth anything, it’s worth everything
  • By the time you get your shoulder to the wheel, your nose to the grindstone and your ear to the ground, it’s time for lunch
  • Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship
  • What you possess will go to someone else when you die, but what you are will be yours forever
  • The devil’s best tool is not an active sinner, but an inactive Christian
  • Failure is something we can avoid by doing nothing, saying nothing, being nothing
  • If you realize you are not as wise as you thought you were yesterday, you are wiser today.
  • Some people never change their opinion because after all it has been in their family for generations.
  • Some people pray like God is an aspirin tablet – they only pray when there is a problem.

Want to Be Wise?

James 3:13-18 – (The Message) – Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

  • For those who do not care about true wisdom but only want the status of being thought wise, the question is a challenge; James’s answer will expose them for what they are.
  • For those who honestly aspire to being wise, the question is an invitation; James’s answer will divulge the way to attain their aspirations.

James is saying, “I am about to tell you the nature of true wisdom; treasure this.” Let all readers, then, first examine their own hearts before reading beyond the question posed in 3:13. Do you really want to be wise?

Literally James says, “Let him show by good behavior his deeds in the humility of wisdom.” Wisdom, then, is not something I will merely possess in my head; if I am wise at all, it is something I will demonstrate in my conduct. 

Two kinds of wisdom:

  • earthly, unspiritual, demonic – comes from jealousy and selfish ambition
  • pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

What causes fights/quarrels?

The conclusion for us is that our fights reveal a wrong relationship with God which is manifest in our prayer lives. Either we do not pray, because we do not trust in God’s grace, or we pray with wrong motives, because we do not follow God’s purity.

James 4:4-6 – You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.”

These are difficult verses to understand.

Exodus 20:5 – You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.

Proverbs 3:34 – He mocks proud mockers  but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.

The reference in 4:6 is more specific and definite, quoting Proverbs 3:34 about God’s personal stance in regard to the choice before us. He is neither passive nor indifferent but quite active in opposing the proud and giving grace to the humble.

James 4:7-12 – So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him make himself scarce. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet. Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?

  • Submit to God – resist the devil
  • God will come near – devil will flee
  • What do you think of his telling us to mourn?  How would that go over in today’s church?

3 relationships:

  • First mentioned is the relationship with each other. Our bonds with others in God’s family are violated when we receive mercy from God but do not share it with others.  When we judge others we are showing contempt for God’s mercy to us.
  •  Second is the relationship with the law. James insists that we are to be doers under the law, which is contradicted when we try to be judges over the law.  When we accept God’s mercy through Jesus Christ, we place ourselves under the teachings of Jesus which commands we show mercy.  When we judge others rather than show mercy, we are rejecting Christ’s teachings.
  • The third relationship is with God.  In judging people, what we really want is to take God’s place. Our sins of judging are attempts to set ourselves not only over the law but over the Lawgiver as well.

Wisdom from my Daughters

As a mother, I like to think that I am a source of wisdom to my daughters, that they look to me for advice and counsel.

But it is really great when my daughters share words of wisdom for me.

Recently my youngest daughter, who is a pastor, spoke something in a sermon that has really been meaningful to me. She said:

“We don’t draw lines to keep people out. We cross lines to bring people in.”

The more I thought about that statement, the more I realized that sometimes I have drawn lines to keep people out.

  • They did not meet my “standards.”
  • They were not dressed “properly.”
  • They were not of my political viewpoint

How many times have I missed an opportunity to share the love of Jesus Christ because the lines I drew shut them out? Made them feel unwelcome.

Then my oldest daughter, who is a school teacher, shared with me her experiences this year with the Covid crisis in school.

She had a coworker whose dress was eccentric, whose walk was strange. This coworker greeted her every morning when she came to work with a cheerful “Good morning Mrs. Thomas.” My daughter was struggling just to make it to school on this stressful year and that last thing she wanted when she came in was a “sunny side up” greeting. She said for awhile she just gave a quick reply and hurried past the coworker to her room.

But one day the Holy Spirit quickened her heart and she began asking God to help her see this person as He did. She began stopping to talk each morning and listen to the person.

She knits caps for all her students and when the coworker commented how much they liked the hats, she made one for them.

The person did not change – what changed was how my daughter saw them.

Again, I wonder how many times I quickly pass by that person whose personality I do not care for, that person who annoys me. How many times do I fail to see them as God sees them.

So – I have two prayers today:

  1. God help me not to shut people out because they are different from me – help me not to be judgmental but to reach out and show them your love.
  2. God help me to look past what annoys me and help me to see people as you see them.

When I was pregnant with both my daughters, I used to put my hand on my stomach and pray that they would grow up to be people who made a difference, who shared God’s love.

How grateful I am to see that prayer was answered.

Now I’m trusting that my two new prayers will also be answered.

What a better world we would live in if we all prayed those prayers.