Living in Limbo

I’m not here…I’m not there…I’m living in limbo.

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Limbo – “an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”

My husband and I recently made a decision to sell our house and move from northern Illinois to Michigan.  Our real estate agent told us our house would sell better if we did not have a lot of “clutter” or “personal stuff” in the home.

So we took down most of our pictures on the walls, boxed up a lot of books, decorations and all our “stuff” storing the boxes in our garage.  We even packed away most of our movies and my music collection leaving only a few to enjoy while we wait for a buyer for our home.

We are now living with much of what made our house our home packed away.  Some of the projects I was working on are in those boxes and I am now limited in what I can do.

I’m not here!

Because we anticipate a fairly quick sale based on current market conditions in our community, I have lost interest in a lot of what is happening here.

  • Knowing I would be leaving in a few weeks/months I gave up writing the newsletter for our church so that they could find someone else who could take over that task.
  • I have said goodbye to friends in a bible study I have attended faithfully for several years.  The study has taken a break for the summer and since I do not believe I will still be here by fall, I no longer am involved in plans for the fall study.
  • I, of course, am keeping my house clean and ready to be shown by the realtor with only a few hours notice.  However, since I have packed so much away there really is not much to do by way of housekeeping.  Also, I have no interest in any projects to paint or decorate or do anything extra to the house.
  • It’s hard to stay motivated and interested in any future plans in my church or community since I do not believe I will be here to take part in them.
  • I have gone through the grieving process of saying goodbye to friends, my home and this community.

I’m ready to move on!

But I’m not there!

But, until our house sells I cannot really begin the new adventure in Michigan.

  • We have gone to the community there to find our new home.
  • We have attended the church where we will be a member.
  • We have already found a great Irish pub with wonderful food.
  • We have located our favorite stores:  Barnes & Noble, Lowes, Costco.
  • We have located our favorite restaurants:  Appleby’s, Olive Garden

I’m all ready to start again with new church, new friends, new community.  But I cannot really do that until our house sells and we can move to Michigan.

So I’m in this place of not belonging here, not belonging there.  Just waiting!

Thinking about this feeling of being ready to say goodbye and not able to yet say hello, of so wanting our house to sell so I can move on to the new adventure, I thought of my own walk with God.

If I truly believe that Jesus Christ will return one day to earth to make all things new, should I not be living with that same “uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”

Should my thoughts all be consumed with what is here – with no thought of what is there?

I know the old saying that some people are “so heavenly minded they are no earthly good” and I totally agree that while we are here we should be doing all we can to make this earth and our community a better place.  We need to be focused on what we can do to help our environment and those in need all around us.  In fact, Jesus indicated our future depends in part on how we care for others in need about us.

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (Matthew 25:31-46)

He also plainly told us:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. (John 14:1-3)

So just as I try to stay focused on my present location – keeping my house clean, continuing to interact with friends here – I also do all I can to get ready for my new home – researching information on the homes for rent/sale, reading about the community and the stores, parks and other resources I will utilize when I move there, making some friends there via email and FB.

In my walk with Jesus Christ I need to maintain that same balance.  I need to be concerned about doing all I can to make earth a better place.  But I need to also remember that old gospel song:

This world is not my home I’m just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6:19-21

This “living in limbo” has made me realize I need to recognize that while I am “here” now I need to make sure that I do not get so involved in “here” that I forget the “there” that is to come.

“Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.” (Luke 21:34-36)

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What Am I Waiting For?

As we enter Advent – the season of waiting – I have been reading scriptures that speak of the wait for the Messiah, the one who would save the world, scriptures that speak of our wait for our Lord’s return.   Examining my life I realized I do a lot of waiting – but what am I waiting for?

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Banana curls just like Shirley Temple

First, as a little girl I waited:

  • to learn to read the “big” books.
  • to be able to jump rope
  • for Santa Claus to come
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Don’t you just love the hairstyle?

Then, as a young high school graduate I waited:

  • to find a job
  • to meet “Mr Right” and be married
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Home on leave just before going to Vietnam my Marine asked me to be his wife

When he came along, then I waited:

  • for the day we could say “I do”
  • to have my own home
  • to be a mother
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The major joy of my life – precious gifts from God

After my girls were born I waited:

  • to see them grow up
  • to see them married and with a family
  • to someday be a grandmother
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This grandson, who never met his grandfather, is so much like him

After my husband was killed in an accident, I waited again:

  • wondering if the pain would ever go away
  • wondering how I would raise my girls alone
  • wondering if there could be happiness again for me
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Thankful for this man who brought joy once again to me

When God took my pain (but never the precious memories I will always keep in my heart and treasure), I waited again:

  • for our blended family to become one
  • to grow old with this man
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I lost my beautiful red hair – but now I wear a wig so I’m still a fiery redhead

Then cancer came and I waited:

  • to recover from surgery and aggressive treatment
  • to get my hair back
  • to get past that 10 year mark of survival
  • to reach retirement

I spent so much of my life waiting for things in the “here and now.”  Spending so much effort and hope and time anticipating for my future in this life.

That is certainly not wrong.  God made us to enjoy this life and all of the things I waited for were good and blessings from God – job, family, health.

But as I reflect on the scriptures that speak of waiting, I realize the most important thing I should be anticipating and waiting for are not those things in the “here and now” but the hope of what is to come when the “here and now” is over.

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I can only imagine what this moment will be like

At this Advent season – this time of waiting and hoping – I wait for

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is…1 John 3:1-2

For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people.  And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed….Titus 2:11-13

But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God’s righteousness…2 Peter 3:18

As we celebrate this season of waiting, anticipating – I ask you, what are you waiting for?

Life can pass us back while we wait for “Someday.”

via Daily Prompt: Someday

How often we say we will do something “someday.”  Especially at this time of year we make New Year resolutions that starting the first of this year I am going to actually do those things I keep saying I will do “someday.”

Unfortunately someday seems to never come.

Because I seldom kept those New Year resolutions, because my “someday” never seemed to really come, I quit making resolutions many years ago.

But this year I sat down on New Year’s Eve and wrote down several resolutions, several things I have kept saying I will do “someday.”  For me 2017 is the year I must keep those resolutions.

Because life is passing by much too quickly.  In April I will be 69 – just a year away from 70.  I have never had a problem with aging.  I celebrated those milestone birthdays of 30, 40, 50 and 60 without any concerns.  But the thought of turning 70 – I am not looking forward to that.  To me, at 70 I will be “old.”

It has dawned on me that if I am going to do something “someday” it needs to be now.  Those pictures sitting in boxes that I am going to put in a scrapbook and note who the people are in the pictures….those stories of my childhood I want my grandchildren to know….the will that needs to be updated.

I have also had to acknowledge that if I want to live a healthy, active life in the coming years, losing weight “someday” needs to be now.  Eating healthier needs to be now.

So this year I am going to make my “someday” a reality.  It’s only the 12th of the month, but so far I am doing well at working on that list of someday.

Wish me well!

 

Active Anticipation

 

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Saying the Lord’s Prayer once again

Beginning my devotions for this third week of Advent, I read once again the Lord’s Prayer. Growing up in a Christian home I cannot began to count how many times I have heard this prayer, how many times I have recited it.

But today I wondered how much I really understood that part of the prayer where Jesus said

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

So many times I must confess I have prayed this with anticipation of that day when Jesus would return to earth and set up His kingdom.  What a glorious day when God wipes the tears from our eyes, when sin and temptation no longer are a problem, when there is truly peace on earth.

According to the dictionary anticipation means a feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen in the near future.  Often I think that is how I – and perhaps others – have viewed this part of the prayer.  Sometime – hopefully in the near future – Jesus will return and set up his kingdom.  To have God’s will done on earth as it is in heaven is a future event – something Jesus will do – while I sit and wait with excitement.

But today as I reflect on these words, I realize once again that Jesus was not calling us to anticipate this future event.  I believe it was calling us to make that true today – right now.

Not anticipation, but ACTIVE anticipation!

To truly pray for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven, I am asking God to manifest his kingdom in me today.  I am called to be an active participant in the answer to this prayer.  I am not to sit idly by waiting for someday.  I am called to make myself available to God’s Spirit and to allow God’s will to be manifest in me (obvious, clear, plain, noticeable).

While I wait with great anticipation for the return of Jesus Christ and the fulfillment of all the wonderful promises of the complete defeat of evil, I must wait with active anticipation recognizing it is my responsibility to see that God’s will is done today in my own life.  It is my honor to surrender to God’s Spirit now and be a witness to what God’s will on earth really is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Restless Hearts

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Advent – time of longing – waiting.

Everlasting God in whom we live and move and have our being, You have made us for Yourself so that our hearts are restless until they rest in You…..Augustine of Hippo

 

I Hate Waiting!

Waiting….having patience…not easy for me.

In our culture I would guess it is not easy for most of us.  We pull up to the fast food place ready to give our order and if we have to wait more than a few seconds before we hear the words, “Can I help you?”  we start complaining.  “Come on!  I’m in a hurry!”

instant-food

We look for dinners in the store that can be popped in the microwave and be ready in two or three minutes.

We have “instant” coffee, “instant breakfast drinks” and now stores are offering “instant credit.”

Our spending habits reflect that also.  We want it now, we do not have the money now, so we charge it now and pay later.  Unfortunately for many of us, when “later” comes, we still do not have the money.  Waiting is not something we find easy.

But for a Christian, waiting is part of our faith.  In the Old Testament, they waited year after year for the Messiah to come.  In the New Testament, we wait for the return of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In this first week of Advent we focus on that waiting, that longing.  As we reflect back on the longing of the Israelites as they awaited the coming of their Messiah and see the fulfillment of that longing, we can rejoice that God is faithful.  What He says He will do….He will do.

Over 400 scriptures and prophecies tell us of His birth, life, death, resurrection and His return as conquering King.  As we read those scriptures and see how Jesus fulfilled them, we are assured that God has a plan for His people.

And as surely as He brought the promise of the Messiah to fruition, we can rest assured that the promise of His return in glory will also be fulfilled.

So – this first week of Advent, I am preparing my heart to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and remind myself to be patient as I wait for the fulfillment of His return.

As Isaiah said when speaking of the ministry of the Messiah,

Prepare the way of the Lord

I seek to prepare my heart for the Messiah.  It is not easy to do that in our culture.  We have made Christmas such a busy time that often we are guilty of having “no room” in our hearts, in our lives for the one the holiday is all about.

My husband and I have been blessed by the responsibility of planning our church’s Christmas Eve service.  How surprised I have been at the people who told me they could not help or would not be there because they had other obligations.  Not meaning to be guilty of being a Pharisee or judging, but I have to wonder just how much we have made this season about everything except the Messiah.  Shopping, decorating, baking, parties.  All of these are not bad, but I pray that in all of this, I will not lose sight of what it is really about.  I pray that I will take the time to prepare the way of the Lord in my own life.

And I seek to be patient as I wait for the fulfillment of his glorious return.