Tag Archives: speaking

No More “Huh” or “What”

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For some time I have been denying that I am having trouble hearing. Watching a movie or listening to my pastor on Sunday there are times when I will miss a complete sentence or two because I just cannot hear well. When listening to friends I find myself asking them “what” “huh” or just trying to guess what they said from the part of the sentence I did hear.

This is not good for meaningful conversation. Trying to “fill in the blanks” when you do not hear everything someone said can lead to real miscommunication.

My husband, who has worn a hearing aid for several years now, has pleaded with me to get a hearing test. I found myself turning the TV up louder and louder until he insists we must turn it down.

While I recognized I was not hearing well, I hated the thought of needing a hearing aid. Hearing aids to me were for old people and I did not want to accept that title for myself.

Still, I knew I could not deny my hearing loss much longer. Some days my husband would not put in his hearing aid because we were just staying at home and he did not want to bother with them. However, before much time passed I would insist he put them on because he kept denying he was not having trouble hearing – but I just needed to speak up.

When we began having that same conversation – but this time it was me who was insisting he was mumbling, I found it hard to deny I needed help in hearing.

The straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak came on Easter Sunday. My youngest daughter and her family joined us for lunch. After lunch we took communion as a family. When my husband finished leading us through the sacraments, I thought he said he was going to pray. Bowing my head I kept waiting to hear him pray.

When several seconds had passed and no sound was coming, I looked up to see my family all looking at me. My daughter said in that exasperating tone that told me I needed to listen, “Mother, he asked you to pray.”

I quickly prayed and I knew I was going to be in trouble when I finished.

Again in that very exasperated tone my daughter declared, “Mother, you have to get a hearing test.”

I agreed. So – I scheduled an appointment.

No surprise – I failed the test. So now there’s the cost to consider. Good hearing aids are not cheap. I checked out different models. This one was the cheapest, but probably not the best.

Now that my husband and I both have hearing aids, buying Christmas presents for each other will be easier.

Only one thing wrong with having hearing aids. Now I can’t excuse myself from not listening to others by saying I just did not hear.

Idle Words

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Reading in Matthew this week with my husband for our devotions I found a statement by Jesus that made me really stop and think about what I say.

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken….New International Version.

Other translations speak of idle words, careless words.

The Greek phrase used here means “careless or inactive or unprofitable words.”

I tried to research how many words the average person speaks per day but there are all kinds of conflicting studies on this subject.  It is clear from all of them that most of us do speak thousands of words a day.  There are studies that indicate women talk more than men (at least we are accused of that) but other studies say that is just a myth.  (For all the women who, like me, are often waiting on their husbands who keep talking and talking, we know that is a myth.)

But of those thousands of words I may speak each day, I wonder how many are really helpful to others.

Taking a closer look at my speaking, I ask myself:

  • How often do I truly listen to others speaking to me?
  • How often do I resist the temptation to jump in and offer my opinion when it is not really needed?
  • How often do I wait until the person is done speaking before I respond?
  • How often do I “think before I speak” or do I just blurt out whatever comes to mind without engaging my brain first?
  • Are my words always kind?

When I read the rest of what Jesus said that day on speaking, it makes me want to be more careful when speaking.

“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

How about you?  Do you think before you speak?

 

Not Politically Correct – But Shut Up!

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As I approach the final chapters of my life and look back at the earlier chapters, I realize the big flaw (do I dare call it sin) in my life has been my tendency to speak before I think.

Many times my motives have been good.  I’m the kind of person who likes to fix things, make things better for others.  So when someone comes to me to share a concern, a problem, a difficult situation, I am often quick to give advice on what they should do to take care of the problem.  Quick to share my opinion on how they should handle things.  Even quick to do something myself to make things better.

Good intentions – to help.

BUT – perhaps they do not need or want my advice.  Perhaps they just need to have someone listen to them and maybe give them a hug.

Other times, I must confess, my motives have not been good.  I have spoken quickly out of anger or hurt.

However, I do not think I am the only one with this flaw.  Reading the Proverbs this week with my husband I could not help but notice how many times the writer tells us to watch our words.

Proverbs 17:28 – “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”

Proverbs 18:13 – “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”

Proverbs 21:23 – “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.”

But the one I love the most is Proverbs 10:19 – “Too much talk leads to sin.  Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

talk

Now if we could just get our politicians and news reporters to follow that advice.

More and more I find myself praying the words of Psalms 19:14 – “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”