Taking a Last Walk Through My Garden

 

Today we put our house on the market.  It has been  a busy few months as we began the process of downsizing preparing to move from a nine-room house to something much smaller.

My experience in this process of deciding what to keep and what to sell, give away or throw out has been an interesting one.   Döstädning – Death Cleaning

At times I have felt relief as I began to see the freedom I would have when I did not have to spend so much time cleaning and dusting and moving “stuff” around.  Relief as I look forward to the day my washer and dryer is on the same living level and I do not have to climb up and downstairs to do the laundry.  (Or, in my case, my dear husband does not have to do that.)

Other times I have felt some sorrow as I parted with items I have enjoyed over the years.  But how many Isabel Blooms can one house have?  (For my readers who are not familiar with Isabel Bloom, check out their website at isbloom.com

Perhaps the thing I will miss the most is my garden.  This garden was built by my husband with love for me.  The Garden that Love Built

It has been so much fun to watch this garden grow from a couple of trees and a few hostas plants until now the entire back yard is one beautiful garden.

Downsizing and moving to a smaller place was what we originally had planned.  However, in the middle of these plans our youngest daughter who lives with her family nearby announced they are moving to another state for a job opportunity for her.

Although we have six children (one is deceased), 20 grandchildren (three are deceased) and our ninth great grandchild is on his way, our children are scattered all over the states.  Missouri, West Virginia, Illinois, South Carolina and Michigan.  This daughter was the only child near us.  So – moving to a smaller place suddenly has taken on a harder decision.

Where do we go?  At our age we do not want to live without any family nearby.  Which child gets the blessing (or the curse) of having us live close by?  ♥

As we begin the process of deciding exactly where we will call home it is a stressful time hoping to find a place we will really love.  But it is also an exciting time as we look forward to a new home and making new friends.

I remember the words found in Proverbs 3:5-6:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

I will trust you Lord!

 

 

 

When I Get to Heaven I’ll See….

Recently our youngest granddaughter had a sleepover with us.  We took her to a children’s museum.  On the way home we started playing a game we had played with our children when they were little to pass the time on a road trip.

My husband started by saying “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to take….”  He named something you would take on a picnic that started with the letter A.  I then repeated what he said and added an item starting with the letter B.  He then had to repeat those two items and add a third item starting with the letter C.  We continued going back and forth going down the alphabet.  Our young granddaughter loved it!

A few days later as my husband and I took a drive to a restaurant in another town that we love, he decided to play the game with a twist on it.  (He said this game was good for us old folks as it would help keep our minds sharp.)  Besides, it is fun.

The twist he gave us was “When I get to heaven I’ll see….”

When we finished the game (we had to skip the letters X and Z) I thought back over the things we had mentioned.  Interestingly, the items we mentioned were not mansions or harps or things that people often associate with heaven (although I’m not sure any of that is Biblical).

Rather we named our three grandchildren who died before we had the privilege of holding them in our arms.

  • Jacobi
  • Precious
  • William

We named family members that we cherished and that died way too young.

  • grandparents
  • Keith
  • Lonnie

We also thought of many that we have read about in the Bible that we would love to meet.

  • Barnabas
  • David
  • Moses
  • Naomi
  • Obadiah

For me that is what will be the wonder and joy of heaven.  The first joy, of course, will be to see our savior face to face.  But then just think of it:

  • To finally meet those precious grandchildren and share stories of our life and how we loved them.
  • To share with our loved ones the memories we had and also began a new relationship, one that will never require us to say goodbye.
  • And to meet all the saints who have lived before.
  • Can you imagine sitting with Moses and hearing him tell in his own words how he felt when he saw the burning bush?
  • Or Ruth when she left her family and home and set out with Naomi to Israel?
  • I’ll have a few questions for Paul about exactly what did he mean in some of his writings.
  • Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr, William Tyndale and all the millions of people we have never heard of but who, like us, have stories to tell and experiences to share.

Some people think heaven will be a dull place.  Not me!  Since I am by nature a history bluff I will be busy talking with all those who have lived long before me – to hear in person their stories rather than just reading about them in a book.

  • Do you believe in heaven?
  • Are you looking forward to heaven?
  • What/who do you want to see when you get there?

 

 

 

On Being Self-Righteous

Confession time:

I recently became angry at my husband for what I perceived as displaying insensitive and rude behavior to me.

But then I was reminded by the Holy Spirit of my own actions earlier that week.  They might have been perceived by him as being insensitive and rude behavior.

Thinking on my actions vs. his actions, I realized I often excuse my own behavior while not allowing any excuses for others.

Ways in which I sometimes justify my own behavior when compared to others.

  • You are prejudiced/I have strong convictions
  • You are being defensive/I am just setting the record straight
  • You are stubborn/I stand firm for my principles
  • You are refusing to listen/I am just stating my opinion
  • You are yelling at me/I am just raising my voice to emphasize a point
  • You are lazy/I am just exhausted

I must remember the words of Jesus when He said:

Don’t criticize people, and you will not be criticized. For you will be judged by the way you criticize others, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive.”

 

Things Mother Never Said to Me

 

mother

It’s almost Mother’s Day – and my memories of Mom keep coming back so strong.  She was such a feisty lady.  In her 60’s she drove a bright yellow car and slowed down only slightly for stop signs.  She loved to show my daughters how to do the Charleston.   (Does the younger generation today have any idea what that is?)

Charleston dance

She gave me a lot of good advice (some I followed, some I did not).  But in honor of her great sense of humor, I thought I would share some things my mother NEVER said to me.  (And I’m sure there are things other mothers have NEVER said to their children.)

 

  1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
  2. Just leave all the lights on…it makes the house look more cheery.
  3. Let me smell that blouse…yeah, it’s good for another week.
  4. If Susan’s mother says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.
  5. If everybody else jumps off the bridge, be sure and join them.
  6. Your curfew is just a general time to shoot for.  It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.
  7. Don’t worry about sharing your candy with your sister.  After all, it is yours.
  8. You are too tired to do your homework tonight.  OK.  Just be sure and turn off the TV by bedtime.
  9. Don’t worry about wearing a coat.  Spring is only two months away.
  10. I don’t have a Kleenex with me.  Just use your sleeve.

Are We Grateful?

I can’t take credit for this story.  I heard it somewhere along the way, but I don’t know who or where.  So – if anyone knows, please let me know.  But the story is so good as I think about how we fail so often to be grateful for our “every day” blessings.

coffee shop

One afternoon a shopper at the local mall felt the need for a coffee break.  She bought herself a little bag of cookies and put them in her shopping bag.  She then got in line for coffee, found a place to sit at one of the crowded tables, and then taking the lid off her coffee and taking out a magazine she began to sip her coffee and read.  Across the table from her a man sat reading a newspaper.   After a minute or two she reached out and took a cookie.   As she did, the man seated across the table reached out and took one too.  This put her off, but she did not say anything.

A few moments later she took another cookie.  Once again the man did so too.  Now she was getting a bit upset, but still she did not say anything.  After having a couple of sips of coffee she once again took another cookie.  So did the man.  She was really upset by this – especially since now only one cookie was left.  Apparently the man also realized that only one cookie was left.  Before she could say anything he took it, broke it in half, offered half to her, and proceeded to eat the other half himself.  Then he smiled at her and, putting the paper under his arm, rose and walked off.

Was she steamed!  Her coffee break ruined, already thinking ahead of how she would tell this offense to her family, she folded her magazine, opened her shopping bag, and there discovered her own unopened bag of cookies.

Recently my husband had a major surgery.  In recovering from that surgery he was reduced to having me do a lot of things for him that he would normally do.  That first week home I brought him medicine, put on his socks for him, basically waited on him “hand and foot.”

As he slowly regained his strength and began taking care of his own needs, we both thought about how we take for granted so much each day, how grateful we should be for the “little things.”

  • being able to get out of bed without anyone’s help
  • being able to put on our own socks and shoes
  • being able to walk outside and see the beautiful flowers
  • being able to get in the tub and have a relaxing bath

The list could go on and on, but we realize we need to be grateful for what we have instead of ungrateful for what we do not have.

“I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” Psalm. 9:1

“O Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.” Psalm 95:1-3

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”       Psalm 103:1-5

“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” Ephesus 5:20

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning.  Thank you that I was able to fix my own breakfast, dress myself and enjoy another day of life.  Thank you that my husband is here with me to enjoy that cup of coffee.  Thank you that I can see the beautiful flowers starting to bloom.  Thank you for being able to speak to my children on the phone or share pictures with them on Facebook.  Most of all, thank you for your mercy and love to me.

What are you grateful for today?

I’m “Officially” Old!

It has happened!  Today I am “officially” old!

Today I am 70 years old.

70 2

How did that happen?  How did I become my mother?  Where did that thick head of red hair go?  What is that sagging thing under my chin?  That can’t be bags under my eyes?

Many of my friends have become very upset at turning 30 – 40 – 50 – 60 and I have always asked them:

What’s the big deal?  It is just another birthday!

But I have been dreading this day.  Somehow it has seemed to me until I hit 70 I could still consider myself – well maybe not middle aged – but certainly not old.

But 70 – I realize the days ahead of me are way, way fewer than those behind me.  I find myself looking back at my life and wondering:

Have I done anything of real value?  Is anyone’s life better because I have been a part of their life?  Have I done all I could do, all I should have done to be a good mother, wife, friend?

Over the years ministering with my pastor husband to the elderly both in our churches and in the nursing homes where we visited I have seen many different responses to old age.

There is the the old crank who complains about everything and constantly puts the younger generation down.

growing old 6

And the one who wants to tell you all about her aches and pains.

aches and pain

But there are also those who are a joy to know.  Those who still have a zest for life and a gratitude for the blessings they have.

growing old 2.jpg

So as I move forward into this “old” time of my life I pray that:

I still see the glass as half full, not half empty.  I appreciate the health I have and not complain about what my weak knees, bad back and poor hearing.  Others still enjoy being with me and not dreading to see me walk in the door,

So – here’s a little “old folks” humor.  Laugh with me.

aches and pain 2.jpg

 

growing old 4

If you do see me coming, just remember this:

old

 

 

 

Remembering Mom

Scan_Pic0094

Rosie Fern Sechrest – 4/16/1918 to 4/4/2006

Hard to believe it has been 12 years since my mother died.  Hard to believe it has been that long.

My birthday and my mother’s were only eight days apart so we often celebrated them together.   The year my mother died my husband and I had gone down to her house in southern Illinois in late March so we could celebrate our birthdays a few days early.  For years I lived in the northern part of the state while my mother lived in the southern part and so our time together was far and few between.  I worked a Monday-Friday job and my husband’s job as a pastor took up the weekends so I only saw her a few times a year.

But that was all going to change.  In February of that year my husband retired and now we would have our weekends free so we could make more trips down to southern Illinois to see her.

I was so anxious to tell her that now I would be coming to see her more often.  Being interested in my genealogy I was looking forward to asking her more questions about her childhood and maybe even visiting some of the places where she went to school or lived.

That was not to be.

When I arrived at my mother’s home I found her in a lot of pain.  She had made a doctor’s appointment for that afternoon so my husband and I took her to the clinic.  She asked me to go in with her for the doctor’s exam and it was only then that I found out she had been having problems for some time.

After examination the doctor admitted Mom to the hospital.  He did not seem to be too concerned saying only that she might have an infection and needed some tests and medication.

The first couple of days Mom seemed to be doing fine and the doctors assured me they would soon get to the bottom of Mom’s pain.  I even assured my sisters they did not need to come, Mom would soon be back to normal and I would be taking her home.

I still struggle that I told them that.  By the third day Mom took a turn for the worse and within a couple of days it was clear there was something seriously wrong.  By then I called my sisters that they needed to come, but I always felt guilty that I had assured them there was no need to come.  By the time they got there, Mom was clearly not doing well.

Yet, in a very selfish way, I was glad that I had those couple of days with Mom all by myself.  Being the baby in the family, Mom usually seemed to trust more on my older sisters for help and it made me feel so good to be the one adjust her pillows, straighten up her cover, being a help to her.

So my feelings still are mixed.  Guilty because I assured my sisters they did not need to hurry down; yet thankful for those couple of days of just me and my mom.

Mom was a jolly woman.  I remember as a child when she and my aunt (a Methodist minister) would do the Charleston dance at our family gatherings.  Her pies were the best.  Many Saturdays Mom would spend the day baking pies:  chocolate, coconut cream, apple, peach.  Sunday nights would find our kitchen and living room filled with members of our church who came over to visit – but I think more to enjoy Mom’s pies.

She always made her own crusts but as she got older she started buying frozen crusts from the store.  While I missed her delicious crusts, the pies were still good.  When my husband and I visited, I knew Mom would have a pot of beans (for me) and coconut cream pie for my husband.  Of course, she also had a chocolate pie because that was my favorite.

After Mom died, I grieved for her.  But, slowly, over time I began to get used to not having her around.  Lately, however, she fills my thoughts almost daily.  I think it is because I am getting old myself and as I age, I understand my mother better.  Sadly, I often wish I could apologize to her.  Many times I got irritated at her – and now I find myself doing and saying the very things she did.  I understand her better now than I did when I was young.

But it is too late to let her know that.

Because of my Christian faith, I believe someday I will see my mother again.  While I will try to apologize, I imagine she will just laugh and say “Come on Barbara, let me show you the rose garden”  for she knows how much I love roses.

Until then, if your mother is still living, give her a call and let her know how much she means to you.