Between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday – Sad, Somber Saturday!

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First, the cross

We talk a lot about the cross and how terrible the death of Jesus was.  The story of Peter’s denial of Jesus and the rest of the disciples fleeing from the garden where he was arrested are familiar to us.  It is good that we take time to reflect on the agony, the pain, the shame that Jesus suffered for us on that Friday.

The Resurrection

Then we jump to Sunday morning and the wonderful fact of the resurrection!  The surprise, the doubt, the joy as they realized that Jesus was alive.  Again, it is good that we celebrate this tremendous event, this foundation stone of our faith.

But, what was that Saturday like?

Have you ever wondered what that Saturday was like for the followers of Jesus as they hid behind locked doors?  After the shock, the horror of his death, can you imagine the range of emotions they felt on Saturday?  Sad, somber Saturday!

Of course, there was the sorrow they experienced at the loss of their friend.  I cannot really begin to understand the pain his mother must have felt as she reflected on the suffering he had experienced.  Perhaps she could not even sleep, or fell asleep only to wake up from a nightmare seeing him once again being viciously beaten.

There must have been great confusion.  Questions as they remembered all the miracles he performed, all the parables he had told.  Wondering how he could have come to this end.  Had he not made tremendous promises?  Had he not proclaimed that he was the only way to God?  Had he not even raised a dead man after four days in the tomb?

There must have been great disappointment.  What were they to do now?  They had left their homes, their employment to follow him.  They had been so excited about the kingdom he would set up, even arguing over who would sit on his left and his right hand in that kingdom.

There must have been great fear.  Would the Romans come after them now?  How could they get out of Jerusalem and back to their villages and their old life safely?

Had they really heard Him?

We have the advantage of looking back on history, on knowing how the story turned out.  So it is easy for us to say, “Did they not really hear him?”  After all he had told them that he would be killed and would rise again on the third day.  Did any of them think about that and wonder if it could be true?

We have our Saturdays too

But before we berate them for not really hearing Jesus, not really understanding, not really believing what he said about his death and coming back to life, are we any different today?

When our Fridays of suffering and difficulty come and we face a sad, somber Saturday dealing with the problems we face, do we forget his promises?  He said he would never leave us.  He said we would have tribulation in this world, but to be of good cheer because in him we could overcome.  He said he gave us his peace, not the peace of the world, but that peace that comes from knowing who is in control.

Today, before I rejoice at the resurrection, I ask God to help me in my times of sorrow, confusion, disappointment and fear.  I ask him to remind me that Fridays come and we have sad, somber Saturdays dealing with the problems of Friday, but for the child of God, Sunday is always on the way!

 

How Do You Say Goodbye?

saying-goodbye

Saying Goodbye!

Today my husband and I visited an old friend to say goodbye.  In the final stages of cancer it appears he only has a few more weeks to live.  This friend was first my husband’s friend.  They met when my husband stopped at a restaurant owned by this man.  The restaurant was halfway between our home and the church where my husband was the pastor.  Driving back and forth between the church office and our home every day, my husband often stopped in for lunch.

“Two Peas in a Pod”

My husband and Richard shared the same sense of humor.  They loved to play golf together although from the tales they tell me I am not sure just how good they were at that game.  But they had a lot of fun and shared silly jokes with one another.

A true friend!

Richard was a true friend.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my husband was so distraught.  The day of my surgery Richard came to the hospital and stayed in the waiting room with my husband until I was safely out of surgery.  At that point he became my friend also.  Every time my husband had lunch at his restaurant, Richard would ask “How is your bride?”

Eventually Richard sold his restaurant but continued there as manager.  After my retirement I often joined my husband and Richard for breakfast there.  They kept me laughing so hard as they traded one silly story after another.

The dreaded “C” word!

About two years ago Richard shared with us that he had cancer.  He was optimistic saying his cancer was a slow-growing one and he would probably die from something else before the cancer got him.  My own story was an encouragement to him.   (See my story at Life — What a Wonderful Gift! When I had my battle with cancer, the doctor had not given me much hope for survival.  Yet here I was still alive and cancer-free.  To be honest, I was not too much concerned because I truly thought this slow-growing cancer would not take his life.

Time passed, Richard began to grow thinner.  Complications set in and he spent too many days in the hospital.  Still, I clung to hope.  I had beaten cancer and he would too.

But, for Richard, the battle appears over.  The doctor has taken him off all the medicine fighting cancer and is talking now about “quality” of life.  Hospice has been called in.

How do you say goodbye?

How do you tell a good friend goodbye?  Do you laugh and talk about all the funny and happy times you have had?  Do you rejoice in the hope that we as Christians have that it is not really “goodbye” but “see you later?”  Do you let him see the tears in your eyes as you contemplate life without him?

Realizing your own mortality!

And, to be totally honest, since Richard is the same age as my husband, it makes us realize that we are also in the that final stage of life.  So we ask ourselves some questions.  Do we have our house in order?  Are we truly ready to face our Savior?

Coming back home, we have mixed feelings.  Sadness, of course.  But also thankfulness for the time we had with Richard.  Perhaps most of all, a new determination to enjoy each day as we live it.

Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”    ― Kurt Vonnegut

I Never Thought It Would Hurt This Much!

Precious Hope

Precious Hope

 

 

 

 

I never thought it would hurt this much!

Almost two years ago my daughter and son-in-law began a journey to adopt twins.  Their mother had died shortly after giving birth.  Since there was no father in the picture, these little babies needed help if they were to survive.  My daughter and son-in-law reached out in love to provide that help.

As I looked forward to being a grandmother again, I imagined that when I first saw the twins my feelings would be those of any one who sees precious little babies.  I would feel compassion and warmth, even affection.  As the days and weeks passed, I envisioned that as I helped give them a bath, sang to them, rocked them to sleep, that warmth and affection would grow to be the love of a grandmother.

Then tragedy struck! 

Less than 3 months their birth, little Jacobi Israel died.  I was heart-broken then.  But my pain was for my daughter.  As I saw the sorrow and pain in her eyes, my heart ached for her.  As for me, I only felt regret for what would not be.

Then my daughter went to West Africa and actually spent time getting to know Precious Hope.  As I saw the pictures and the videos of Precious taking her first steps and heard her little voice making those first baby sounds, something happened that I did not expect.  I fell in love with that little girl – without ever singing to her, rocking her to sleep, holding her close to me.  She was my granddaughter!  There was not compassion and warmth in my heart – there was a grandmother’s love.  I could hardly wait until my daughter and son-in-law could bring her home to us.

Then tragedy struck! 

Almost a year from the death of Jacobi, little Precious died also.

I never thought it would hurt this much!

While I felt such sorrow for my daughter and son-in-law, my grief was for myself – for the granddaughter I almost had.  For all the dreams I had for her and me – dreams that would not happen now.

I suppose no one who has not walked down that scary, unpredictable road of adoption can understand my feelings.

Today Precious would have been two years old.  I thought today we would be celebrating her birthday.

I never thought it would hurt this much!

Although I will never hold her in my arms in this life – I still count her and Jacobi as my grandchildren and I look forward to the day I can embrace them and tell them how much I love

them!

I never thought it would hurt this much!