Living in Limbo

I’m not here…I’m not there…I’m living in limbo.

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Limbo – “an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”

My husband and I recently made a decision to sell our house and move from northern Illinois to Michigan.  Our real estate agent told us our house would sell better if we did not have a lot of “clutter” or “personal stuff” in the home.

So we took down most of our pictures on the walls, boxed up a lot of books, decorations and all our “stuff” storing the boxes in our garage.  We even packed away most of our movies and my music collection leaving only a few to enjoy while we wait for a buyer for our home.

We are now living with much of what made our house our home packed away.  Some of the projects I was working on are in those boxes and I am now limited in what I can do.

I’m not here!

Because we anticipate a fairly quick sale based on current market conditions in our community, I have lost interest in a lot of what is happening here.

  • Knowing I would be leaving in a few weeks/months I gave up writing the newsletter for our church so that they could find someone else who could take over that task.
  • I have said goodbye to friends in a bible study I have attended faithfully for several years.  The study has taken a break for the summer and since I do not believe I will still be here by fall, I no longer am involved in plans for the fall study.
  • I, of course, am keeping my house clean and ready to be shown by the realtor with only a few hours notice.  However, since I have packed so much away there really is not much to do by way of housekeeping.  Also, I have no interest in any projects to paint or decorate or do anything extra to the house.
  • It’s hard to stay motivated and interested in any future plans in my church or community since I do not believe I will be here to take part in them.
  • I have gone through the grieving process of saying goodbye to friends, my home and this community.

I’m ready to move on!

But I’m not there!

But, until our house sells I cannot really begin the new adventure in Michigan.

  • We have gone to the community there to find our new home.
  • We have attended the church where we will be a member.
  • We have already found a great Irish pub with wonderful food.
  • We have located our favorite stores:  Barnes & Noble, Lowes, Costco.
  • We have located our favorite restaurants:  Appleby’s, Olive Garden

I’m all ready to start again with new church, new friends, new community.  But I cannot really do that until our house sells and we can move to Michigan.

So I’m in this place of not belonging here, not belonging there.  Just waiting!

Thinking about this feeling of being ready to say goodbye and not able to yet say hello, of so wanting our house to sell so I can move on to the new adventure, I thought of my own walk with God.

If I truly believe that Jesus Christ will return one day to earth to make all things new, should I not be living with that same “uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”

Should my thoughts all be consumed with what is here – with no thought of what is there?

I know the old saying that some people are “so heavenly minded they are no earthly good” and I totally agree that while we are here we should be doing all we can to make this earth and our community a better place.  We need to be focused on what we can do to help our environment and those in need all around us.  In fact, Jesus indicated our future depends in part on how we care for others in need about us.

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (Matthew 25:31-46)

He also plainly told us:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. (John 14:1-3)

So just as I try to stay focused on my present location – keeping my house clean, continuing to interact with friends here – I also do all I can to get ready for my new home – researching information on the homes for rent/sale, reading about the community and the stores, parks and other resources I will utilize when I move there, making some friends there via email and FB.

In my walk with Jesus Christ I need to maintain that same balance.  I need to be concerned about doing all I can to make earth a better place.  But I need to also remember that old gospel song:

This world is not my home I’m just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6:19-21

This “living in limbo” has made me realize I need to recognize that while I am “here” now I need to make sure that I do not get so involved in “here” that I forget the “there” that is to come.

“Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.” (Luke 21:34-36)

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Seven Reasons to Ban the Lord’s Prayer

In 2015 the church in England had an advertisement which featured the Lord’s Prayer set to run before a Star Wars movie.  The cinemas banned the ad because they said it might be offensive to some.

In response Bishop Steven Croft wrote an article saying “from the perspective of the spirits of the age, there are very good reasons to ban the Lord’s Prayer from cinemas and culture and public life.”

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Here are Bishop Croft’s reasons:

  1.  “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.”   –  It opposes the myth that we are random specks of matter floating through space and time….We are created and loved and called into friendship with God who is our father and into community with our fellow human being who are therefore our sisters and brothers.
  2. “Your kingdom come.  Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  –  The world is not as it was meant to be.  It is distorted from its true purpose.  But God is at work to redeem and transform this world, to establish His kingdom.  The Lord’s Prayer invites us not to retreat from the world in fear and pain, to anaesthetise or indulge ourselves.  It invites us to join the struggle to see justice and peace prevail.
  3. “Give us this day our daily bread.” – This is not a prayer for more.  This is a prayer for only what we need.  It teaches contentment.  This one restrains our greed.
  4. “Forgive us our sins.” – This teaches me to live with my imperfections and the imperfections of others.  The Lord’s Prayer acknowledges human imperfection and sin, daily.  It offers a pathway to forgiveness, daily.  The way of forgiveness cannot be bought.  It is a gift.  Grace.
  5. “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” – We are not meant to live in feud or hostity or rivalry.  We are meant to forgive and be forgiven, to be reconciled to each other.
  6. “Lead us not into temptation.” – When we say this prayer we remind ourselves that we are not living in a Disney fairy tale.  We are living in a real world of cancer and violence and difficulty, where bad things happen for no clear reason.  We live in that world confident in God’s love and goodness and help even in the most challenging moments of our lives.  We may not have the answers but we know that God dwells with us and in us.
  7. “For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and for ever.  Amen.” – The prayer returns as it begins to the praise and glory of the living God.  our hearts return to their origin and source, the one who created us.  Our lives are to be lived to God’s praise and glory, not to satisfy our own small desires.  We are beings with a higher calling and a greater purpose.

There are only 63 words in the Lord’s Prayer.  It takes less than a minute to say them.

Yet these words shape our identity, give purpose to our lives, check our greed, reminds us of our imperfections, offer a way of reconciliation, built resience in our spirits and call us to live to the glory of our creator.

No wonder many want to ban them from our consumer culture.

To Speak or Not to Speak

When I was a child I was very shy, found it difficult to engage in conversation except with family and very close friends.  While I had my own opinions, I was reluctant to ever state them or enter into any discussion where people were debating different viewpoints.

Somewhere along the line I changed.   Looking back on my life I think the change came when I moved into a community in  southeast Missouri and found a group of people who had recently become believers in Jesus Christ and were trying to organize a church in their community.  They had been reading their Bibles and searching for truth and came to an understanding of faith in Jesus Christ.

Not sure what to call their experience, one of the members found a book by Billy Graham called “How to Be Born Again.”  After reading the book, they concluded that they had been “born again” and wanted to establish a church where they could learn more about the Bible and grow in their faith.

Unfortunately, there was a woman in that group who was very domineering and did not want an organized church.  She saw herself as some kind of “Savior” and wanted complete control of the group.  She reminded me of persons like Jim Jones or David Koresh who created a cult following.  It was clear if allowed she would lead these new believers down a road of falsehood.

So – shy, scared and certainly not what I would choose for myself, my husband and I quickly took a stand against her and advocated for contacting a legitimate Christian organization that could offer us candidates for a pastor and assist us in organizing a church that would be based on solid evangelical beliefs.

Thankfully the truth won out and today there is a strong evangelical church in that community reaching out and helping others in their walk with Jesus Christ.  I long ago moved from that community but I rejoice in having the courage to speak out.

So – now I find it easy to speak out and give my opinion.  But somemtimes I struggle wondering if I have become too vocal.

I see all kinds of words of wisdom about the importance of not speaking:

Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”   Mahatma Gandhi

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”   Maurice Switzer

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”   Mother Teresa

“I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.”      Xenocrates

Sometimes friends who are not as verbal as me make me feel like I am somehow not as wise or loving or kind as they are because I do speak out so much.

But then……I read these words of wisdom about the importance of speaking out:

“To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against or one might believe that you support things you really do not.”    Germany Kent

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”    Martin Luther King Jr

“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.”   Mahatma Gandhi

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.”    William Faulkner

As a Christian, I look to the Bible for direction.  And I find:

 

But then there is this:

So – what’s the answer?  Do I speak or not speak?

Guess the answer is to ask myself the motive behind my speaking?

Is it to correct a wrong?  Help someone from following in a wrong direction?  Am I speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves?  Am I speaking up against false doctrine – for the truth?

OR

Is is because I just think I’m right?  Just being a busybody.

My prayer is that I will always speak up against wrong but also know when to keep silent and always remember that God’s Word has said:

“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.”   Matthew 12:36

 

 

 

The Piped Piper of Iloilo City

When I wrote this 4 years ago this “piped piper” was continuing to reach out to others – not only children but mentoring young adult women and sharing God’s Word. It has been a joy to see her become an ordained minister and now she begins a new adventure as a pastor. Wonder how much her experience in the Philippines has led her to this new role in life. Congrats and God’s best to my “Piped Piper” as she continues to share God’s love with others.

Grandma's Ramblings

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What happens when you take an American teenager away from her comfortable home and set her down in a totally unfamiliar environment?  That was the question my husband and I faced when our youngest daughter was 15.  We had a chance to move to the Philippines and teach at a local Bible school in Iloilo City. While we were excited about the opportunity, we had worries about the effect this would have on our daughter.  At the age when most teenagers are looking forward to receiving their driver’s license, having their first date and going to the prom, she would have to crowd all her personal effects into two suitcases and say goodbye to friends and the comfortable life she had known.  While she never complained, it was a scary and difficult move for her.

The first few weeks were rough for her as she adjusted to no TV, no hot running water, no…

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Going to Miss You Mighty Mississippi

Most of my life I have lived near the Mississippi River.  Living in southern Illinois near St. Louis, Missouri I crossed the river almost every day as I lived in Illinois but worked in Missouri. The arch dominates the view as you cross into downtown St. Louis.

Mississippi

Taking over two years to build (1963 to 1965) the Gateway Arch is the world’s tallest arch and the tallest stainless steel monument in the world (630-foot).

The arch was built to celebrate the westward expansion of the United States and has become a famous symbol of St. Louis.

As a young bride my husband and I often fished along its banks.  Sometimes we would fish at night and I would love seeing the riverboats with all its bright lights and imagine myself taking a cruise down the river on one of the steam boats.

 

 

Fishing was good then but I’m not sure I would want to eat any fish caught along the river near St. Louis now because of all the pollution.

When I moved to northern Illinois 24 years ago I began my commute crossing the river from Illinois to Iowa to go to work and also to go shopping or eat at the many wonderful restaurants on the Iowa side.

There are several bridges crossing the river between the two states but I one I love to see at night is the Centennial Bridge

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This bridge was the first tied arch bridge to cross the Mississippi River. This bridge is unusual because it has five spans rather than a single main span common among tied arch bridges. Reportedly these spans symbolize the five largest cities in the “Quad Cities” area.  Originally this was a toll bridge and as I crossed the bridge going to work in Iowa, I had to stop in the middle of the bridge where the toll booths were located.  A few years before I retired, the tolls were removed and today all that remains of the toll booths is the canopy that had been built over them.

Another interesting bridge is the Government Bridge.  This bridge, also known as the Arsenal Bridge includes a swing section to accommodate barge traffic navigating the locks at Lock and Dam No. 15.  The current bridge is the fourth in a succession at this location between Rock Island Illinois and Davenport Iowa.  The first bridge built at this site was the first railroad bridge across the Mississippi.

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Because it is a swing bridge and is built very low close to the river itself, I was afraid to drive across it when we first moved to this area.  However, the closest way for me to get from work to home was to cross this bridge so in time I overcame my fear.

We will be leaving this area soon moving hundreds of miles from the river.  I am going to miss this mighty river.

  • The Mississippi River is 2,340 miles long.
  • From its source in northern Minnesota to the Gulf of Mexico, the Mississippi River drops 1,475 feet.
  • The Mississippi River is home to 360 species of fish, 326 species of birds, 145 species of amphibians and 50 species of mammals.
  • The Mississippi River is the third largest watershed in the world.
  • It takes 90 days for a drop of water to travel the entire length of the Mississippi River.
  • At Lake Itasca, the river is between 20 and 30 feet wide, the narrowest stretch for its entire length.
  • The widest part of the Mississippi can be found at Lake Winnibigoshish near Bena, MN, where it is wider than 11 miles.
  • The Mississippi River lies in the following ten US states: Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Illinois, Iowa, Wisconsin and Minnesota.

Roll on ole man river!  I will miss you!

Kentucky Folk Art

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When my husband and I take a trip we love to sometimes get in the car and head out with no particular destination.  We just drive until something catches our eye; often we  say “I wonder where that road goes” and off we go to find out where it will lead us.

Even when we go on a vacation and have a definite place in mind, we still often take a detour when we see something that looks interesting.

On one trip home from visiting family in North Carolina, we saw a sign by the road that said “Kentucky Folk Art.”  So, forgetting our time schedule for the day, we took the next exit and discovered one of Kentucky’s special places.

The Kentucky Folk Art Center (KFAC) is a part of Morehead State University.  Housing a permanent collection of nearly 1,400 pieces of self-taught art, we found the pieces to be playful, mischievous and fantastic.  These pieces were excellent examples of original folk art.

 

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Two of my favorite pieces were this couple dancing and the guitar player.

If you are ever in the area of Morehead, Kentucky you must check out the KFAC.  And while you are on the road, take time to get off the beaten trail.

Who knows what treasures you will discover.