Tomorrow I will have an angiogram. After several weeks of chest pain, shortness of breath and extreme fatigue, my doctor did a stress test last week. The test indicates there may be some blockage in the lower part of my heart.
Maybe – maybe not.
So tomorrow I go in and if there is blockage they will insert a stent and keep me overnight in the hospital. If there is not, I will be back home in time for lunch.
Part of me hopes there is no blockage. Part of me hopes there is a small blockage that they can repair because I really do want to feel better.
Last week after being injected with radioactive material, I laid down in a recliner and a machine came down close to my heart and took pictures. As I laid there watching the machine hover over and move around my chest in the area of my heart, memories flooded back of the day I first had radiation for breast cancer.
Nervous about what they might find in the pictures of my heart and what that might lead to, I suddenly remembered that first day of radiation. And how God showed me He was there.
I felt again His sweet presence and the thought came to me
He was with me then….He will be with me now.
So – here is my story of that day almost 18 years ago when God showed up in a radiation treatment room. And I go in tomorrow in peace knowing that
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Some would call it a coincidence. But the odds for it happening as it did are pretty great.
I call it an act of God.
I have recently written a couple of articles about my battle with breast cancer 12 years ago which I hope you will take time to read.
During that battle, I experienced a wonderful moment when God’s presence and love were very real.
Stage 3C – Aggressive and advanced
Because my cancer was very aggressive and very advanced, they had to radiate four different areas; my chest, my underarm, the back of my shoulder and the area in front around my collar-bone and lower neck. We had to stop the treatment at one point because I was badly burned. The doctor had told me that this might happen since I am a redhead and have very fair skin.
Although chemotherapy was harder on me physically than radiation, I found the radiation treatments more difficult emotionally and mentally. Chemotherapy was given to me in a pleasant room with windows looking out at a small lake with ducks and flowers. I was able to sit in a comfortable recliner with my husband by my side. There were others in the room also taking treatment and if it were not for the IV’s attached to us, it could have been a row of people on vacation taking in the view on a cruise ship.
Radiation treatment, however, was lonely. My husband could not go into the room with me. After the technicians placed me in the proper position for the treatment, they quickly left the room and went into another room where they could view me though a window safe from the radiation. What was really frightening was the sign on the outside of the room. It said:
“Danger! High Radiation!”
The act of God came in the first treatment. After placing me in the exact position I had to be in so that the radiation would reach only those places where cancer cells might still be hidden and yet not reach my heart or my lungs, the technicians walked out of the room. I heard the heavy door slam shut. Tears began to run down my face and my heart began beating very fast as I realized that I was alone in the room with a machine about to emit dangerous x-rays into my body.
Never in all my life had I felt so all alone. As I have always done in times of trouble, I cried out to the Lord and said, “Help me! I’m all alone and I’m scared.” Immediately as that cry went out, a song began playing over the speakers. It was a song from my childhood:
“Yes, Jesus Loves Me.”
How comforting it was to me to remember that I was not alone, but my friend who had promised to walk with me through the valley of the shadow of death was there with me.
After the treatment I thanked the technicians for being so thoughtful to play that song at that particular moment. They told me they had nothing to do with the music that was played during the treatments. It was all programmed months before and they just turned on the music without any control over what was being played.
I know many will say it was just a coincidence – that particular song playing at the very moment I cried out for help.
Act of God!
But I say it was an act of God. Between my treatments and the days it took to set up my treatment plan and adjust it, I was in that room for over 40 times. During those times they always played elevator music. Except for that one moment, there was never any music that could be counted as Christian music.
I’m so thankful I have survived and I’m so thankful that I know it is true that
Jesus loves me.
Please know that I am praying for you my friend! You are a very special lady and God has lots for you to do yet. (He told me that) May the Drs have wisdom to find the problem to help you feel better. Love you!
Thanks! I count on your prayers!
Good luck with the angiogram.
Barbara, You will always be just exactly where He wants you to be when He wants you to be wherever that is! You are beautiful!!! i am praying for you today and that all goes very well and you are feeling better than ever soon! 🙂
Thank you dear, dear friend! I value your prayers. I am leaving for the hospital now – but I really do go in peace knowing He is with me. Your friendship means the world to me.