I’m not here…I’m not there…I’m living in limbo.
Limbo – “an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”
My husband and I recently made a decision to sell our house and move from northern Illinois to Michigan. Our real estate agent told us our house would sell better if we did not have a lot of “clutter” or “personal stuff” in the home.
So we took down most of our pictures on the walls, boxed up a lot of books, decorations and all our “stuff” storing the boxes in our garage. We even packed away most of our movies and my music collection leaving only a few to enjoy while we wait for a buyer for our home.
We are now living with much of what made our house our home packed away. Some of the projects I was working on are in those boxes and I am now limited in what I can do.
I’m not here!
Because we anticipate a fairly quick sale based on current market conditions in our community, I have lost interest in a lot of what is happening here.
- Knowing I would be leaving in a few weeks/months I gave up writing the newsletter for our church so that they could find someone else who could take over that task.
- I have said goodbye to friends in a bible study I have attended faithfully for several years. The study has taken a break for the summer and since I do not believe I will still be here by fall, I no longer am involved in plans for the fall study.
- I, of course, am keeping my house clean and ready to be shown by the realtor with only a few hours notice. However, since I have packed so much away there really is not much to do by way of housekeeping. Also, I have no interest in any projects to paint or decorate or do anything extra to the house.
- It’s hard to stay motivated and interested in any future plans in my church or community since I do not believe I will be here to take part in them.
- I have gone through the grieving process of saying goodbye to friends, my home and this community.
I’m ready to move on!
But I’m not there!
But, until our house sells I cannot really begin the new adventure in Michigan.
- We have gone to the community there to find our new home.
- We have attended the church where we will be a member.
- We have already found a great Irish pub with wonderful food.
- We have located our favorite stores: Barnes & Noble, Lowes, Costco.
- We have located our favorite restaurants: Appleby’s, Olive Garden
I’m all ready to start again with new church, new friends, new community. But I cannot really do that until our house sells and we can move to Michigan.
So I’m in this place of not belonging here, not belonging there. Just waiting!
Thinking about this feeling of being ready to say goodbye and not able to yet say hello, of so wanting our house to sell so I can move on to the new adventure, I thought of my own walk with God.
If I truly believe that Jesus Christ will return one day to earth to make all things new, should I not be living with that same “uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.”
Should my thoughts all be consumed with what is here – with no thought of what is there?
I know the old saying that some people are “so heavenly minded they are no earthly good” and I totally agree that while we are here we should be doing all we can to make this earth and our community a better place. We need to be focused on what we can do to help our environment and those in need all around us. In fact, Jesus indicated our future depends in part on how we care for others in need about us.
“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (Matthew 25:31-46)
He also plainly told us:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. (John 14:1-3)
So just as I try to stay focused on my present location – keeping my house clean, continuing to interact with friends here – I also do all I can to get ready for my new home – researching information on the homes for rent/sale, reading about the community and the stores, parks and other resources I will utilize when I move there, making some friends there via email and FB.
In my walk with Jesus Christ I need to maintain that same balance. I need to be concerned about doing all I can to make earth a better place. But I need to also remember that old gospel song:
This world is not my home I’m just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
This “living in limbo” has made me realize I need to recognize that while I am “here” now I need to make sure that I do not get so involved in “here” that I forget the “there” that is to come.
“Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.” (Luke 21:34-36)
Just prayed that your house will sell soon. You will be missed here but as I know how I have been blessed to know you and been taught by you that there will many new friends that will be blessed to know you also!
Thanks for the prayers!
Beautifully written. I am praying that your house sells soon and the new one that God provides is a haven of peace for you.
Thank you so much!
This is so true!! Seriously, I needed this perspective today. I love that you are gifted in writing and your ideas are so thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing this story with the rest of us.
Thank you for your kind remarks.