I’m desperate! Or, am I?

In Sunday’s worship we sang a Michael W Smith song entitled “Breathe.”  This is a song I love.

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I –  I’m desperate for you
And I –  I’m lost without you

When I hear it I sometimes become quite emotional.  Tears may fill my eyes and my heart is filled with a great longing and love for the Lord.  Memories will flood my mind as I remember all the times I was desperate for the Lord – and He was there.

• When my parents were divorced
• When my husband was killed in an accident
• When my grandchildren died
• When my husband had a heart attack
• When I was diagnosed with cancer

Oh yes, I was desperate then!

But as I sang that song Sunday, I questioned myself.  Am I only desperate for the presence of the Lord when I am in a crisis?  And, if so, is that really being desperate for the Lord – or desperate for Him to help me?

The dictionary says the word desperate means

feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.

With that definition I was desperate in those situations because they seemed hopeless and impossible to deal with.  That is why my eyes often feel with tears and a great sense of love for God fills my heart because I remember how He was there in those times of desperation.

But as I listen to those words, I think am I desperate for God for more than just deliverance from a hopeless situation?  Do I really realize how desperate my life would be without His presence – not just in difficult situations but in every day, every aspect of my life?  Do I really grasp how much I need Him?

Does my daily actions reveal my need for Him?  Questions run through my mind:

• How much time do I spend seeking His presence?
• How much time do I study His Word to know His will in my life?

It’s easy to sing how lost I would be without Him in church on Sunday morning surrounded by fellow believers.  But the question really is:   Does my life Monday through Saturday reflect that sense of need for Him?

May I like the Psalmist truly say:

I am always aware of the Lord‘s presence;
    he is near, and nothing can shake me.

May I like the Psalmist truly say:

As a deer longs for a stream of cool water,
    so I long for you, O God.

May I truly be desperate for God not in the sense of wanting someone to help me out of a difficult situation – but desperate in the awareness of how truly lost I would be without His presence.